I Won't Give Up
by BTRHenderson31
Summary: Carlos' little sister is going through rough times when the boys become famous and move to LA. Will she be able to survive when she has a crush on The Logan Mitchell, or will she die from depression? Please read it's better than it sounds... I hope.. Logan/OC, There might be some Kenlos in it... and James and Camille might have some romance between them...
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, Hey Guys! This is my first story on Fanfiction! So please review and tell me how I am doing! I really want some of you authors out there to give me ideas and advice on how to make this story even better! Thanks! Well, here's the story or the start of it...**

I'm a young 13-year-old girl with blue eyes, black hair with red highlights, and slightly pale skin, and I was staring at one of my brother's band mates and best friends. I couldn't help but love his pearly white smile, his dark brown coco eyes, his spiked brown hair, and pale skin. I knew I couldn't date him because he only saw me as a little sister; not a girlfriend. My brother wouldn't even accept the idea of his band mate and I going out! I just couldn't help it, it just came to me one day and I suddenly saw him as more than a brother, as a crush!

I know he wouldn't go out with a girl like me! I'm too short, ugly, too young (of course), weak, pathetic, and not lovable! I'm not beautiful and I know that he knows that. Wait! Scratch that! EVERYONE knows that! I don't get why my brother, Carlos Garcia, brought me here. Probably because he felt pity for me. Typical Carlos, trying to make everyone feel all happy inside and never sad. I hate to break it to him that I'm depressed not happy, AT ALL! I don't get why James tries to help me out with picking out clothes whenever we both go to the mall, so I could get a new video game. Maybe James also feels pity for me, and he's showing it by trying to make me look prettier than I am already. I know that's not possible. Kendall also feels pity for me because he's giving me guitar and singing lessons. I suck at singing and playing guitar. I have a terrible voice; maybe that's why Kendall always hurries out of the room when we are done with the lessons. EVEN Logan feels pity for me. He always helps me on every single piece of homework I get from school! I can't even think how Logan would have a crush on a 'Good-For-Nothing' like me. YUP! That's right!

I, Alexis Corcello Garcia, have a crush on The Logan Mitchell!

_**"I won't give up on us**__**  
**__**Even if the skies get rough**__**  
**__**I'm giving you all my love**__**  
**__**I'm still looking up**__**  
**__**Still looking up."**__  
_  
I woke to my alarm clock ringing out, "GET UP GET UP! TIME TO WAKE UP!", yeah it's very annoying, that's why it's my alarm. I finally got so annoyed with it, that I slammed my fist onto the snooze button.

"ALEXIS! TIME TO GET UP! WE ARE HEADING TO THE STUDIO SO GET UP!" my brother pounded on my door, sounding excited.

I guess he was excited because it's my first time going with them to see how they work. I wasn't very thrilled to meet this Gustavo person! He sounded scary and mean. I mean if he called my brothers(and crush) 'dogs', I wonder what he would call me. Puppy? Cat? Kitty? Midget? Lil Carlos? Okay well maybe not the last one. I groaned and dragged myself out of bed, flying to the carpet floor. Suddenly the carpet felt comfy enough to fall asleep on.

"LEXI! COME ON! WE'RE LEAVING IN 30 MINUTES! HURRY UP!" exclaimed Carlos, from the other side of my door.

I muffled a reply and got up. I sleepily threw on a big gray sweatshirt that had a hoodie attached to it. Oh did I mention I cut because of all the pain I feel? Oh, we'll now you know! I couldn't take the pain of knowing there was no way I could have Logan love me as a girlfriend (and not as a little sister), so I started to cut myself. I also remembered the day when Kendall was so close to figuring out that I was a cutter.

_~Flashback~_

_Kendall and I finally finished my guitar lesson, and singing lesson. I was so tired from all the vocals he got me to somehow do. I think he bribed me with money? Well I have $50 in my pocket now! Kendall was already gone, so I took this as a perfect time to cut myself before everyone got home. I sprinted into the bathroom and locked the door shut, so no one could come in and catch me in the act of cutting myself! I always take precautions whenever I'm going to cut myself in the bathroom. I don't want anyone finding out about my addiction because then they will force me to go to a mental house full of other mental people! I bet everyone would like that, that I'll be gone! Our of there lives! FOR GOOD! No visiting Carlos' ugly, mental little sister! I sighed and grabbed my pain reliever; my razor. I gently laid the sharp end onto my already abused arm (it's full of cuts that's what I meant by 'already abused arm'), and then I quickly jabbed the blade into my kind of tan skin, making it bleed. My blood resembled my tears that never flood out of my lifeless, metal colored eyes. __'No one would have to know about this. No one would! I can only know!' I thought I myself as I continued to drag the blade down my bare wrist.__"HEY LEXI?! YOU IN THERE?" I jumped at the sound of Kendall's voice on the other side of the bathroom door.__This was bad, he could see me cutting myself and send me to one of those mental hospitals! Crap! This is VERY BAD!__"Uhm... Yeah! One second!" I answered, grabbing some bandages and wrapping up my cuts.__I then applied some of Mrs. Knight's make-up on the bandages, making them look like my bare skin. This just had to work, and if not I'm ruining my chances (like a 1% chance) with Logan, FOREVER! I opened the door to come face to face with a concerned looking Kendall. __"Yes?" I asked in a boring way, looking up at him. __"What were you doing in there?" demanded Kendall, crossing his arms, while staring at me with this 'You-Better-Tell-Me-Right-Now-And-Don't-Lie' look in his eyes.__"Just going pee and poop!" I smiled innocently.__Even though I was lying to cover up the fact that I was cutting, I couldn't help but feel proud of myself for not caving in and telling Kendall about me being in love with Logan which led me to cutting knowing he wouldn't ever love me back! So I was very proud of my lying skills that Logan taught me back in Minnesota!__"Okay, FYI!" said Kendall, looking disgusted.__"Hey! You asked! Not me!" I laughed silently, as I walked back to my black and red themed room.__~End of Flashback~_

I groaned again; as I finished getting dressed into a gray sweatshirt, and light gray sweat pants, and gray tennis shoes. Plus I added a touch of make-up and accessories.

I hate make-up, and jewelry, but I need to get Logan to notice me even though I know it's never going to happen. The only piece of Jewelry I loved, was the clock heart locket I'm wearing! It has a picture of Carlos and my dead parents. On one side it has my mom and dad, and the other side has me as a baby in Carlos' arms with our parents right behind us smiling big, bright smiles into the camera. I looked so cute back then, I remembered all the times Carlos and the boys helped me learn how to talk when I was four; yeah, it took me a long time to learn how to talk, I wasn't very bright back then like Carlos. I guess it ran in the family genes. My mom said, when I was around 8 and still in Minnesota with the other guys, that Logan helped me learn how to walk. He was the first person I walked to without falling down. I loved hearing that, because I developed a small crush on Logan back then, but it went away and then came back.

I guess it will never go away, the feelings I have for Logan, the pain I receive whenever I see other girls flirt with him, or whenever I realize he wouldn't be in love with a girl like me. I guess this was the way god meant it all to be.

I sighed as I walked out of my room, and into the Kitchen to see the boys waiting for me. They're always rushing to get to work, just so this Gustavo person won't get all so worked up and have a fit or a tantrum! It drives me insane when they make too much noise in the morning. I need sleep too! I don't even know how these boys can get up so early and go to work to meet a yelling producer or whatever Gustavo is.

"GREAT! You're ready! Now let's go before Gustavo gets mad for us being late…. Again!" exclaimed Kendall, as we all ran out of the apartment and into the elevator, after saying goodbye to Mrs. Knight and Katie, who was still asleep on the orange couch.

When we reached the lobby, we actually sprinted out of the elevator, which made Mr. Bitters yell at us for running in the lobby, but who cares about that fatty? Haha! We slow down to a halt and hopped into the Big Time Rush Mobile. This was my very first time going ANYWHERE with the guys, since we first moved here for them to become famous pop-star singers! The mobile came to a complete stop at this big building that had the name, **"Roque Records"** on it, in big, bold letters! I gulped; maybe this isn't a great idea for me coming here with the guys. I wasn't a big fan of heights, nor crowds. I'm very shy to anyone I just met.

"Come on Lexi! You can finally hear your big bro sing!" announced Carlos, smiling like a big goof ball.

Oh, whom am I kidding? He is a big goof ball all the time! That's one of the reasons why I love him as a brother, minus the fact that he is my brother!

"Fine…" I mumbled, as I ran to catch up with the other boys.

I just hope that I won't do anything that I would regret doing! Or even ruin the chances of my brothers (and crush) staying here, by being a burden and an idiot to Gustavo.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! I finally updated and make this chapter longer! Oh, and I forgot to mention something in my first chapter! Please review! I really want at least 1 review on my story! I put tons of work into these chapters, I'm even failing some classes in school just to get this chapter done for you guys! So please at least give me 1 review so I know at least someone is reading my story! I don't really care if it's negative! Thank you!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BIG TIME RUSH OR THE SONG I WON'T GIVE UP, OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS. I just own the plot and my character Alexis Corcello Garcia! **

* * *

**Chapter 1**

After I met Gustavo—who seemed to yell at everyone. He called me "Pup", that's a new nickname for me, for sure! I'm usually called Ugly or Worthless at school. I get bullied at school like 24/7; I'm surprised the guys haven't figured out why I'm always late coming home from school. I'm mad at them though, because I let them see my bruises on my face that I get from my bullies. I don't know why I do, I just do. I guess they aren't bothering to ask me how I got them because I deserve them. I always wonder why I was even brought into this world; I will never know! Mrs. Knight always told me that God brought us all into this world for a reason, but what's my reason?  
I just wish someone would see behind my happy mask, at home, and see that sad, vulnerable me trying to bring my true self out. I always thought the saying, "A girls' loudest scream is silence" was true, and it still is true! I haven't been silent; I've been talkative. Maybe I should go mute, but when and will the guys noticed my quietness? I don't know...  
I walked out of the studio, while the other guys finished up. I continued to walk down the streets of LA, enjoying the fresh LA air, okay maybe it wasn't fresh, but it was a nice cool breeze. I know I shouldn't go out into the streets of LA alone, but why would anyone bother walking with me? The reasons why you shouldn't EVER walk alone in the streets of LA, is because that there are rapist, kidnappers, and robbers out here at anytime of the day! Mostly nighttime, but sometimes them crazy people do it in the plain daylight. I didn't really care if I get kidnap or rape at this point. I mean who would care to help a little worthless girl being raped? No one… Probably the boys and Mrs. Knight, but they all pity me! I sighed out a frustrated sigh, as I slam my hands into my sweatpants pockets and walked back to the PalmWoods.

As I walked through the PalmWoods Lobby, taking in the scene everywhere. The Jennifer's were drinking smoothies on of the tables near the outdoor pool, Camille looked like she was ready for another role in another play or movie and was practicing her lines, Tyler was hiding from his mom (as usual), Guitar Dude was playing his guitar (making up short little songs), Katie was already in middle of one of her schemes to get tons of money, and Mr. Bitters was checking in some new PalmWoods guests, while eating a turkey sandwich. Maybe everyone _was _better off without me.

I shook my head erasing all the thoughts I already had flying around in my head about suicide… Suicide… Even THAT word sends shivers down my spine, just think about it. Sure I cut and wish that I was happier, but still I wouldn't even think about committing suicide! That would be giving into what everyone else wants, wanting me dead… Gone… No more problems then if I'm go- ALEXIS STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT! UGH! I hate my life (FML)! I started to walk towards the elevator when someone stopped me.

"Hey Helmet Boy's little sister!" I heard Mr. Bitters call out to me, I groaned.

I just want to go upstairs and think about everything to see what I can do to make everyone happy, and still be alive.

"Yes?" I asked politely, yeah Mrs. Knight taught me how to be polite and all that bullshit.

"Can you do me a favor?" he asked me, as I raised an eyebrow.

"Shouldn't you be asking Katie to do a favor for you instead of me? I mean she's the one with the devious schemes!" I pointed out, crossing my arms.

"Whatever! I need you to go down to the drug store and get me a pack cigarettes!" explained Mr. Bitters, handing me $50.

"Y-You smoke?" I exclaimed quietly; this was shocking.

"I kind of do! Just go get it for me." He grumbled.

"Why can't you?" I asked him suspiciously.

"Because my mom is coming and she doesn't know I smoke and I can't leave my desk!" he explained, looking annoyed.

"But I'm not old enough! I'm only 13!" I stated, holding out the money back to him.

"Go get someone to buy it for you and then come back and give me the pack of cigarettes! It's not that hard, well maybe for you." He chuckled, going into his back office and shutting the door.

I sighed as my eyes roamed around the room trying to find the right person to go to, to do this favor for me. I know I shouldn't agree to it but Mr. Bitters thinks it's too hard for me to do! So I'm going to prove him wrong! My lifeless, metal colored eyes landed on Camille. She is a great actress I mean, I could pretend I need it for this role I'm going to try out for. I walked over to her quietly, not wanting to be a burden to anyone here at the pool.

"Hey Camille." I said in a quiet voice, but loud enough for her to hear.

Her head snapped up to see me and gave me this warm smile. Alexis, she just feels pity for you too! Don't even think that she's different from everyone else in the fucking world! No one gives a damn about you!

"Oh, hey Alexis, what's up?" she asked me.

"I need you to do me a favor, please?" I asked her.

"Sure, what is it?" she smiled.

"Can you go to the drug store and buy me a pack of cigarettes?" I asked her, as she started to have a shock face.

"Why?" she asked me, crossing her arms.

"I'm going to be trying out for this play and the character I'm trying out to be takes drugs so I need to see how heavy the box is and how heavy the cigars are so I can make an exact replica of them!" I lied, as her face brightened up.

"You're going to be an actress?" she squealed in delight, as I gave her a fake smile.

"Yeah. I have the money so here can you get me some?" I asked in my nicest voice.

"Okay, but this is only for acting reasons, right?" she asked me, with this 'Don't-Lie-Or-I'm-Going-To-Bitch-Slap-You' look in her eyes.

"Yeah, totally! I wouldn't ever think about taking drugs! I mean those things kill you!" I laughed, as she sighed out in relief?

"I'll be back then! I'll meet you at the PalmWoods park so I can give you them." She explained, as I nodded my head.

Camille scurried off to do my favor as I made my way to the PalmWoods Park when I saw my brothers (and crush), come through the front door with worried looks. They were looking around desperately for something, or someone? Once Carlos' eyes locked with mine, he smiled brightly and ran over to me and picked me up. He twirled me around.

"ALEXIS YOU HAD US WORRIED SOMETHING HORRIBLE HAPPENED TO YOU!" he scolded, putting me down onto my own two feet again.

"Sorry, I just wanted to get back here as soon as possible." I lied through my teeth again.

"Next time tell us you're leaving and where you're going!" demanded Kendall, crossing his arms and giving me a disappointing glare.

"Okay, I promise. Now I got to go!" I announced and started to walk over to the front door leading outside, when I got pulled back.

"What?" I groaned in annoyance, I just wanted to go up and get into my bed and never wake up from an endless, peaceful sleep!

"Where are you going?" asked James, raising an eyebrow.

"The PalmWoods Park." I answered bluntly.

"Why?" asked Logan, looking at me.

"To play? Or hang out there?" I said in a obvious tone, which was rude according to Mrs. Knight politeness lessons.

"Fine… Be back at dawn or 8:00PM, or your grounded!" ordered Carlos, as he and the other boys go over to the elevator.

I sighed as I start to make my way over to the Park.

* * *

Camille finally came over to the bench I was currently sitting on, waiting for her, and she handed me TWO packs of cigarettes?

"Camille, I said I only needed one!" I told her, as she scoffed.

"A good actress always gets a back up. The second one is just incase you somehow manage to lose the first one!" she explained, as I mentally sighed.

"Okay, thanks for doing me this favor! I'll tell you if I got the part or not after the audition!" I lied again, well the first part wasn't a lie the last part was.

"No problem! No I got to go! I need to go practice my lines for MY role I'm going to be trying out for!" she exclaimed, excitedly.

"Uhm… Okay… Good luck!" I told her, as she smiled at me and sprinted to the Palmwoods.

I shook my head and shoved the packs of cigarettes into my pockets and made my way back to the PalmWoods. I was wondering if Mr. Bitters was going to be okay with TWO packs of cigarettes instead of ONE! I sighed, my life is fucked up! I finally got to the PalmWoods and saw Mr. Bitters looking around for someone. Probably me, because he's wanting his cigarettes.

"Mr. Bitters! Here's your pack of Cigarettes!" I exclaimed, as I threw him the first pack.

What? I have to keep the other hidden so I don't have to ask Camille again to get me more, if Mr. Bitters asked me to do the same favor again!

"FINALLY!" he exclaimed, catching it and taking one out lighting it.

"You do realize you can die, doing drugs?" I asked him.

"Yeah, so? You know you seemed stress. Maybe if you start drugs then you won't be so stress anymore. Go ahead and buy yourself another pack of cigarettes and try it! Or will you be a wimp?" he told me, breathing in the toxic poison.

"Now scram! No loitering around the Lobby after 9:00PM!" he scolded, as my eyes widen.

It's after 9:00PM! OH CRAP! I'M TOAST! I sadly walked over to the elevator and prepared for my doom that awaited in apartment 2J. I'm in BIG TIME trouble! I practically dragged myself into the apartment to come face-to-face with my three older brothers (and crush), glaring at me, and arms crossed.

"Where were you?" hissed Kendall, looking mad as hell.

"Sorry! I lost track of time and before I knew it, it was 9:00PM!" I explained, truthfully.

"You're still being grounded!" announced Carlos, as I gave a whining noise.

A noise when a little kid is begging for candy but gets no as an answer and then starts to whine or whatever.

"Unfair…" I mumbled, but sadly they heard me.

"Hey you didn't listen! Now go to bed missy!" scolded James, pointing to my room, as I huffed.

I stomped over to my room and slammed my door shut, and locked it.

"NO STOMPING IN THE APARTMENT OR SLAMMING DOORS MISSY! AND DON'T YOU DARE LOCK YOUR DOOR!" yelled my brother, as I pouted on my bed.

I suddenly felt a bulge in my pocket and saw the cigarette pack peeking out of it. I suddenly remembered what Mr. Bitters said to me.

_~Flashback~_

_"Mr. Bitters! Here's your pack of Cigarettes!" I exclaimed, as I threw him the first pack._

_What? I have to keep the other hidden so I don't have to ask Camille again to get me more, if Mr. Bitters asked me to do the same favor again!_

_"FINALLY!" he exclaimed, catching it and taking one out lighting it._

_"You do realize you can die, doing drugs?" I asked him._

_"Yeah, so? You know you seemed stress. Maybe if you start drugs then you won't be so stress anymore. Go ahead and buy yourself another pack of cigarettes and try it! Or will you be a wimp?" he told me, breathing in the toxic poison. _

_"Now scram! No loitering around the Lobby after 9:00PM!" he scolded, as my eyes widen. _

_~End of Flashback~_

"I guess I could try one…" I muttered and went over to my window.

I opened it and started to climb up the fire escape ladder or staircase. Not sure what you call it! I finally got to the top of the roof and opened the pack and saw a lighter inside the box. Wow. I even forgot you needed one of those things to actually smoke. I hesitantly pulled out one of the white colored, toxic, and poison sticks and lit it up with the lighter. I put the box back into my pocket (same with the lighter), and breathed in the toxic drug. At first I coughed and nearly choked on it, but after a while it got very easier and I was actually relaxed. Man, Mr. Bitters was right. These poison filled sticks can relieve stress for anyone! I continued to smoke the cigar in my hand, as I stared up at the stars wondering if the guys would even care if I started to smoke at such a young age. Probably not.

After I was finished with the cigar I threw it on the ground and stomp on it, making the flame on the end of the stick go out. I climb down the fire escape and entered my room again. I took off my clothes and got into some pajamas. I stuffed my clothes that smelled like smoke underneath my bed, since no one would look there, therefore they won't find out about me now smoking. I put the cigarette pack into my drawer that NO ONE opens. I turned out the lights in my room and slowly fell into a peaceful sleep….

* * *

**Okay so I'm having some trouble with some of the pairings. Should I still do the James/Camille, and Kendall/Carlos, or Kendall/James, and Carlos/Camille, or James/Carlos and Kendall/Camille? Please help me thank you!**


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